I’ve spent the past few weeks, through the holidays, alternating between being hunkered down at home and running kids from class to camp and back again. I’ve spent the quieter days playing games and building blocks. I’ve enjoyed unlimited time with hubby while he took so much needed time off work. I’ve snuggled and cuddled and laughed with all.
And I’ve completely neglected Beyond Mommying.
I’ve written one new post in the past three weeks. I’ve been largely absent from Facebook and Twitter. My regular routine of sharing on Pinterest and engaging in my many writer’s groups fell by the wayside.
And, at first, I worked really hard to feel guilty over it. To force myself to find words to put out there. But it was all a lost cause.
I have a lot on my plate, so many things that I love and that I’m responsible for. And I spend my days trying to juggle it all, giving everything I have and not always giving each my best.
And I’ve realized, happiness is where the heart is.
Happiness is found when you are doing something you love. Happiness is based on feeling joy in your heart, it’s not something to be created.
And through the past weeks, I’ve been exactly where I needed to be. I needed to be focused on my family, 100%. I needed that time to recenter and rebuild.
That isn’t to mean that I’ve given up on writing. Beyond Mommying is truly like a another child, something I created from nothing and have nourished over the past almost 5 years. But I’ve struggled for awhile with forcing myself to create new content, with chasing down pageviews and likes and fans. I’ve struggled with why I do it at all.
And I’ve finally given myself permission to follow my happiness in my heart. To focus on what matters most and to give my all to those things.
I plan to continue writing, when I feel the drive or need. I plan to continue sharing, when I want to. I plan to keep Beyond Mommying alive, but I also plan to continue what feels right, and not what I’ve been told is right.
2018 is surely going to be a year of big changes for both Beyond Mommying and my family and I can’t wait to see all the beauty that comes out of allowing myself to be filled with the happiness that is in my heart.