I’ve been dancing for 81% of my life (seriously, I did the math!) and with all that dancing has come countless days, hours, minutes in the theatre.
The theatre is a very special and sacred place for me. It is a place where I experience and share my passion, my art and one of the places I love most in the entire world.
Whether I’m on stage, backstage or in the audience, being in the theater is magical.
While we don’t make it to the theatre as a family as much as I’d like, my girls have been to quite a few shows in the past year. We started with Sugarplum’s first trip to The Nutcracker last Christmas followed by Honeybun’s dance performance, Swan Lake this summer and this past week the play Click, Clack, Moo based on the popular children’s book.
I’m fortunate that my girls are very well behaved whenever we attend a show and even Doodle sat nicely through the play (though he did require a long nursing session towards the end to keep quiet). But I definitely don’t think it’s just because they’re good kids. I am very particular about theatre etiquette and make sure my children understand how important proper behavior while in the theatre is.
Theatre going is quickly becoming a lost art. While people might still attend live theatre performances, the rules and etiquette of theatre going are being lost and truthfully, I find it upsetting. People have become so accustomed to movies that I think they forget the live theatre is a whole different thing!
So what are the basic rules and etiquette for theatre going?
1. Be quiet. It seems simple enough but it’s important to remember in a live performance that noise (talking, cell phones ringing/dinging, babies crying, even coughing) is not just a nuisance to your fellow audience members but can be disturbing or a distraction to the performers which can affect the quality of their performance.
2. Do not take pictures. Ever. For any reason (unless you were hired by the theatre/performing company to do so). Not only are the lighted displays of most digital devices disturbing to your neighbors, flashes and blinking lights in the audience can de disorienting for the performers (especially dancers who are working really hard to not fall over). Plus it’s rude (and often illegal). Just be in the moment, enjoy the show and keep those cameras and phones put away.
3. Stay seated and as still as possible. Most theatres are notorious for having poor line of sight to the stage (or at least parts). If you are constantly shifting in your seat, the person behind you will have to do the same and the person behind them and so forth and so on. If you’re a mover and a shaker in your seat, maybe try to book a seat at the back of the theatre or section.
4. Clapping is cool, screaming is crude. Unless you’re at a rock concert, hip hop/street dance performance or similar performance, stick to clapping only (until the end of the show during final bows when a little more enthusiasm might be ok). If you like it: clap. If it’s funny: laugh. Other than that: refer to #1.
5. Dress appropriately. Much to my despair, our culture is becoming more and more relaxed in our dress. There seems to be no standard of “nice” dress anymore but the theatre is one place I still always dress up for (Sunday brunch is the other!). Not only is it a great opportunity to use that closet full of pretty clothes, but it shows respect for the establishment. My kids always wear their nicest dresses that fit whenever we take them to the theatre whether it’s a children’s dance show or the most famous ballet company in the world. (I even made Honeybun wear her fanciest skirt with her school t-shirt when she went to a play with her kindergarten class last year!)
6. No eating in the auditorium. Unless the theatre you’re at specifically allows food and drinks in the auditorium (and I would 98% of theatres do not!) just don’t do it! Even if the theatre sells food and drinks in the lobby, finish before heading to your seat. Stage theatres are much nicer that movie theatres and not made for spills and trash. Most theatres barely scrape by and don’t have the staff to clean up after you (did you know the ushers at most smaller theatres and even some of the larger ones are all volunteers?)
So what about going to the theatre with kids? I suggest going over the above rules with them before attending and make sure they understand they must be quiet, they can’t have snacks during the show and that they’ll have to stay in their seat (or on your lap) the entire time.
Here are some other tips:
1. Arrive to the theatre early but don’t go sit right away, scope out your seats if you want but don’t sit your little ones down too early as the longer they have to sit and wait for the show, the less likely they are to sit nicely DURING the show.
2. Go to the bathroom and get a big drink of water before you head to your seats and repeat during intermission. This will not only use up some of the before/between show time but will ensure they are ready to sit nicely.
3. If you have a short one in their own seat, bring a small booster for them so they can see over the adults in front of them. Sugarplum’s dinner booster folds up so I usually bring that for her to sit but a car booster seat would work as well.
4. If your child can’t sit nicely or gets loud, take them out of the theatre. I can usually keep my girls quiet by holding/cuddling them and I nurse Doodle whenever he starts to get antsy or disruptive. If your child just won’t quiet down, though, out of respect for your fellow audience members and the performers, remove them from the theatre. (But know once you’re out, you’ll probably have to stay out until a break in the action).
5. Bring sweaters. If you and/or your children wear short or sleeveless clothes, bring a sweater as theatres are notoriously cold and everyone will be happier when they’re comfortable.
And most importantly: Enjoy the show! There is no experience like live performances!
