So it’s no secret my mommying experience is thus far limited to girls. With the impending birth of baby #3 (and my feeling it’s a boy…the “he” slip ups have been happening for weeks) comes an ever growing feel of terror. What exactly do I DO with a boy? I mean, I know boys shouldn’t be treated differently than girls BUT there are some instances where they have to be.
For instance, with the umbilical cord I was a “if it looks ok, leave it alone” type mommy. I didn’t excessively clean it (usually only at bath time) all I really did was keep it dry and keep things from rubbing on it. Does that work for tiny little boy parts too?
And speaking of tiny little boy parts, hubby and I still haven’t decided which way we want to go on circumcision. He is “leaning” towards doing it and I’m “leaning” away from doing it but neither of us has taken a solid stand yet. Even though we’ve never known the gender of our children before their birthday, we’ve still never made the decision. With Honeybun we didn’t even really discuss it, I guess we figured we’d decide when we needed to. With Sugarplum I was told at my 38 ½ week appointment that if we wanted to have the baby circumcised we’d have to pay for it before we went to the hospital (even though we didn’t even know what we were having). Well, my water broke 2 days later and we still hadn’t decided, nor obviously paid for it and luckily we didn’t have to worry about it.
This time if I deliver the baby at home as I’m planning we won’t be able to have it done right away and will have to visit a pediatric surgeon later on. This is part of my “leaning away” mentality. Can’t we just wait and see how it goes? Plus I’m a little bit in the “why provide unnecessary physical harm and discomfort to your newborn?” boat.
I also know that circumcision is not routine in many parts of the world, including Europe. It is not routinely done in Ireland (or really at all without a religious or medical reason) and I’ve had friends who had to go out of their way to get it done for their sons there. If most of the other modern cultures don’t do it, why should I?
So…I guess it’s time we finally decide (even though it may possibly not matter yet again) and this is where you come in and can help. All the research on the internet has not made my opinion any stronger (either for or against). Will you share your opinions and experiences with us and help us to make this important decision? You can share at Beyond Mommying’s Facebook page (Circumcision Poll).
Dear mommy,
I truly wish I had seen this before you decided to leave the circumcision decision up to the father. I will try not to be negative as my fellow activists were perceived on your other post. What I would’ve told you is that you have a foreskin, and as a female you rather enjoy your foreskin. I would’ve told you that you were better equipped to make that decision than your husband. I would’ve told you that only 30% of the US and only 15% of the world is circumcised. I would’ve told you that boys don’t make fun of penises in the locker room. I would’ve told you that 1 boy dies every 3 days from complications of circumcision. I would’ve explained to you that circumcision affects the man he will become. It is his body to make choices about. As a society, we find it too easy to say, this child belongs to me until he’s 18. What happens when he turns 18 and figures out the most sensitive part of his body has been removed. I guess you would wonder why we care now? Because you likely will have other children or you will have a voice in other babies. I would like you to consider watching the below video. I’d like you to do some research on “circumcision harms women” and “men do complain”. (also below) Then I’d like you to think about how you will respond in 12 to 18 years when he asks why you did that to him. Because likely he will ask and likely your response will be negative. Just know that there are thousands of men out there who are no longer talking to their parents, thousands of men who blame their parents for their erectile dysfunction and the pain they are causing their sexual partners during sex, lastly thousands of men who are restoring their foreskin.
http://www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2011/08/ryan-mcallister-on-child-circumcision-the-elephant-in-the-hospital.html
http://www.circumcision.org/harmswomen.htm
http://www.top10wayscircumcisedsexharmswomen.com/
Please know that I am not judging you. I am judging the midwife who told you to do it. I’m judging the pediatrician who told you to do it. Lastly, I’m judging society who keeps telling these mothers that their babies will be healthier, cleaner, and safe from stds. However, society has no words when the baby dies from a cosmetic surgery that wasn’t even necessary.
Blessings,
Jennifer
Jennifer,
While I respect and agree with many of your statements, I would like to point out a flaw in your statistics. The 30% US circumcision rate you quoted is not an accurate statistic. The number you use to support your point of view is a gross under representation of the actual rate of newborn circumcision in the US as it only includes procedures done in the hospital and covered by insurance. It does not include any procedures completed in older infants, those performed outside of the hospital, those paid for out of pocket by the parents or those circumcisions performed in religious settings.