Yesterday was a busy and exciting day. We started after breakfast by heading to the beach with friends who are getting ready to move as a sort of a (second to) last hurrah. Then we went to do Doodle’s 1st birthday portraits and after nap to another friend’s house for dinner.
I thought for sure we were going to have a great day. There was so much going on, leaving little opportunity for the girls to be nasty. But boy was I soooo wrong! It turns out yesterday was the worst day of the worst weekend.
The morning was great, the girls were listening, generally following directions and we made it to the beach with no drama. We had a great time, splashing in the water and the kids dug and built in the sand. We had a small snack and Doodle started to get fussy. I warned the girls that we would probably need to leave soon.
Sugarplum asked for more snack and I told her we weren’t going to open anything else because we were going to lunch a little later and she was not happy. She threw her goggles, almost hitting my friend and I said “Ok, me you and Doodle can go now. Get your shoes on,” and she LOST it. As I packed up our stuff, she threw sand at me (luckily only hitting my legs and not Doodle in my arms.) I reiterated “Now we are really going. You may not throw things and are showing me it is time to go. Get your shoes.” “NOOOOOOO!”
I asked hubby to help me get her up to the shower and ready so I could walk back to my parents house with her, Honeybun stayed and played with our friends. I had Doodle in my sling and our beach bag over my shoulder. Hubby carried Sugarplum up to the showers and rinsed her off. We put her on the bench to put her shoes on and I tried to hold her steady (while still holding Doodle and the beach bag) as hubby fought Sugarplum’s screaming, thrashing and kicking and got her shoes on.
I grabbed her hand and we began walking. She screamed and went limp and pulled on me trying to get away. I held her arm and pulled her along with me. The walk is about 5 or 6 blocks and she screamed, flailed and tried to get away from me the whole time saying “I want to go back. I didn’t get to swim under the water. I want to go BAAAACK!”
Somehow we made it back to the house, just me, Sugarplum and Doodle. It was one of those moments when my adrenaline took over and I achieved a feat of abnormal strength and endurance. Somehow we made it without me getting tired or sore. Somehow we made it with her screaming the whole way (and me wondering if the cops were going to show up at our door a few minutes later). Somehow, we made it.
I had to let go of her hand to open the screen door and unlock the door. She immediately tried to run for it. I grabbed her and had to shoo her in with my legs while holding Doodle and the door.
I shut and locked the screen and before I could set Doodle down, she had it open and was halfway out. I pulled her back in and shut and locked the door again. I didn’t yell at her, I simply scooped her up and wrapped her in my arms.
I whispered in her ear “I love you with all my heart. I love you more than anything!” We stood there together, suspended in that moment until she said “Mommy, you hurt my arm.”
I sat down on the stairs with her and looked at her arm. I said “I’m so sorry I hurt your arm, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was so scared you were going to get away from me and run into the road. I don’t want anything to happen to you, I just love you so much. I don’t ever want to hurt you.” I kissed her arm and her head and wrapped her in a hug, resting my cheek on her head and she said “Can we go swimming now?”
Girl, I know exactly how that goes. I have been through it more times than I can count with my daughter. Fortunately, she has gotten much better in her behavior this year. It can be so frustrating when you have a daughter with an independent spirit, but focus on how this independence can really be a strength as she grows up.
Thanks, Heather. I love her independent and spunky attitude, she really, truly is an amazingly fun kid to be around. I do hope, though, that she will outgrow these spells as well because they sure do wear on me!