Much like how most other mammals prefer to birth in a quiet, dark place, I have this vision of sneaking off into the shadows of the night to labor. I don’t desire to have a lot of people around, I just want a calm, peaceful place where I can quietly work through the contractions without distraction or worrying about anything else.
This is nothing new for me. For my first two births, I only wanted hubby there. I didn’t want anyone to even know I was in labor until baby was here. Unfortunately, being induced with Honeybun made this ideal impossible. Everyone knew I was going in and was (I’m sure) waiting anxiously all day to get the news. With Sugarplum, however, I was successful. My cousin was in town to watch Honeybun so when my water broke early in the morning, hubby and I slipped off to the hospital and we all kept the secret baby was coming until after she arrived just before midnight.
The weird thing is though, as much as I want a quick, easy, quiet nighttime labor, I also really want my girls to be there. If baby is born during the night we intend to get the girls up for the birth (per Honeybun’s request) but I also would love for them to be there for the labor.
Part of me wants them to witness the hard part of having a baby. The birth advocate in me wants to provide them an important lesson on real birth. I want to override the cultural stereotypes that fill our society. I figure the younger they are the more likely they are to absorb my experience as normal and will therefore be more able in the future to see the ridiculousness in the way birth is portrayed in America.
But I also want them there for a slightly more selfish reason. Both of my girls have become incredibly compassionate over the past few months. Honeybun has spent many afternoons when I was extra uncomfortable gently stroking my back and Sugarplum still each morning curls up in my lap, contorting herself around my ever growing belly, and often gently strokes my face or arm telling me “mom-mom, I wuv you.” This is the kind of nurturing I know I’ll want when baby is coming. The kind of truly unconditional, ingrained love that only a child possesses. The kind of love you only feel for those who have been with you from the start.
