I’ve said before I’m not a judger, to each mom her own. I have to be honest, this is not entirely true. There are two areas of parenting in which I do have strong feelings about what is best: breastfeeding and car seats. I’m not ready to jump into the politics of breastfeeding (which, by the way, is a fabulous book by Gabrielle Palmer) but I will share my fanatical views on car seats. I believe in them. All the time. No exceptions.
It literally makes me jumpy every time I see a child improperly restrained in the car. My mind starts racing: Doesn’t his/her mom/dad know better? What if they get in an accident? Does that parent not care about the safety and well-being of their children? Why is that parent not taking the few moments/simple steps that can SAVE their children’s lives in an accident?
I’ve seen it all: Preschoolers walking around the car at stop lights, newborns in proper car seats but with the harnesses way too loose, toddlers in infant seats for which they are way too big, toddlers in booster seats for which they are way too small and today a 4 month old infant in the front seat of a 4 door car (usually indicating an airbag and baby death sentence if an accident should occur). I always have the urge to say something, but I’m just not that mom. I’m not the know it all, I’m better than you type and I don’t want to come off that way. But what if something did happen? Would I feel guilty for not saying something? If it was someone I knew, probably. That’s just who I am. I try to look the other way and not be affected, but I just care about people, and specifically children, too much.
My children ride in their car seats every time, no matter how far we are going. I don’t care if it’s across the country or across the parking lot, we buckle up (all of us!). I can’t say it hasn’t caused drama with people who don’t understand why it’s so important to me. While in Dublin we didn’t have a car so we generally walked or took the bus or train. Occasionally we would take a taxi, but I never once put my children in a taxi without their car seats, even though it’s legal there. I don’t take chances with my children’s lives when there is a fairly simple solution. When we travelled we took the car seats if we were going to be in a car. There were trips when we didn’t take the car seats (Paris, Amsterdam, Warsaw, Prague), but I never succumbed to pressure if we didn’t have the seats. I was able to find taxi companies in most cities (Dublin included) who provided car seats. There were a few times the cabs showed up without the right size car seats and due to time restraints I reluctantly went anyways, but I held onto those seats so tight and prayed nothing would happen (and I’m not a prayer).
Generally my children are agreeable to the no-nonsense car seat rules. Sometimes Honeybun complains about having to be in her harness because some of her friends are in boosters now but I don’t care. She can whine all she wants. She does not yet weigh enough for a booster and even when she does I’m not changing just because her friends have. Poor Honeybun will probably be in her proper car seat until Middle School since we have a seat that goes up to 65 lbs and approx. 57” tall and at only 33 pounds and 40” (at 4 ½ years), she has a long way to go!
Sugarplum is still rear-facing because she is so small, only 22 pounds at 2 ½ years. She will stay rear-facing until she is too tall to do so (for her seats, guessing somewhere around her 3rd birthday or a bit after). Even with Honeybun forward facing, Sugarplum does not even question it. I always laugh at people who turn their kids around right at a year because “the baby hates being backwards”. If my 2 ½ year old doesn’t care, a 1 year old doesn’t. Kids just don’t like being restrained in the car in general; it has nothing to do with which way they face. Like anything else in parenting, if you stick to your guns and don’t give in they will get used to it. (I will make a noted exception here though for a friend whose daughter gets car sick and threw up every time they went in the car until they turned her forwards…that reason I’ll accept!)
Here’s a few things maybe you didn’t know or have forgotten about car seat safety:
Car seats expire. Every car seat should have a sticker with an expiration date after which they are probably not safe to use due to corrosion of the materials over time and especially if used in extremely hot or cold climates or if ever checked in for airplane travel (have you watched the way they throw around bags, slamming them down and tossing heavy bags on top of others?)
Rear-facing is safest: The official rule to forward face (in the US) is 20 lbs AND 1 year but the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends rear-facing to at least 2 years. Children can stay rear-facing until their head is less than 1 inch from the top of the car seat
A loose or mispositioned harness may not provide necessary protection in an accident: Noone likes to be squeezed into a seat belt but if you start early, children will learn. You should not be able to pinch the harness if properly tightened and heavy clothing (coats, sweaters, etc) should be removed and placed over the harness if necessary. Rear-facing shoulder straps should be positioned at or below the child’ shoulder line and forward-facing should be placed at or above the shoulder line.
A 5-point harness is safer than the vehicle seat belt: Your child can stay in a integrated 5-point harnessed seat until they weigh more than the seat allows or their ears are above the top of the seat or their shoulders are above the top harness slot.
The car seat should not move when installed: If properly secured in your car, the seat should not wiggle hardly at all side to side or front to back. The less movement the car seat has, the safer your kiddos will be.
Read the Instructions: You should always read the instructions when using a new seat not only to see how to properly install it but also to make sure your child fits. If you get a second-hand car seat (check the expiration date first!!!) and don’t get the manual, you can google it and find most manuals online through the manufacturer.
I am fanatical about car safety because it is such a simple way to protect my children. I for one would never Ever EVER forgive myself if something were to happen to my children because I was too lazy to properly fasten them in (and honestly, if I ever felt forced into putting my children in unsafely and something happened, I would probably never forgive that person either).
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