{"id":9740,"date":"2016-01-08T09:05:07","date_gmt":"2016-01-08T14:05:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/?p=9740"},"modified":"2016-01-29T14:52:17","modified_gmt":"2016-01-29T19:52:17","slug":"murphys-laws-of-newborns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/2016\/01\/08\/murphys-laws-of-newborns\/","title":{"rendered":"Murphy’s Laws of Newborns"},"content":{"rendered":"

Babies: They seem innocent enough. \u00a0They’re these cute little cuddly things, full of love. \u00a0And fluids. \u00a0And they need a lot of attention and just when you think you’ve got them figured out, they hit a growth spurt, get sick or start teething.<\/p>\n

Life with a baby never goes quite how you expect and is full of surprises, like these Murphy’s\u00a0Laws of Newborns; things that your baby is guaranteed to do based on your (obviously wrong) assumptions and actions:\"murphy's<\/a><\/p>\n

If you shower, the baby will spit up on you.<\/h4>\n

If you start something “because the baby is sleeping,” the baby will wake up.<\/h4>\n

If you put baby in a special outfit, his\/her diaper will leak.<\/h4>\n

If you use cloth diapers, baby will poo as soon as you finish a diaper wash.<\/h4>\n

If you get dressed up to go out, baby will drool all over your shoulder.<\/h4>\n

If you put makeup on, baby will make you cry (happy tears, of course!)<\/h4>\n

If you stay up late, baby will wake up early.<\/h4>\n

If you “won’t be gone long enough for baby to need a bottle,” baby will be hungry the second you leave.<\/h4>\n

If you put on dangly earrings, baby will suddenly learn to grab, grasp and pull.<\/h4>\n

If your dinner is ready, baby will be hungry, too.<\/h4>\n

If you give baby a bath, baby will projectile vomit everywhere.<\/h4>\n

If you make plans to go out and leave baby home, baby will get sick.<\/h4>\n

If you’re running late, baby will poo.<\/h4>\n

If you’re tired, baby won’t be.<\/h4>\n

If you have something timely to get done, baby will want your full attention.<\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

What would you add to the list?<\/em><\/p>\n

Pin it.\"murphys<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Babies: They seem innocent enough. \u00a0They’re these cute little cuddly things, full of love. \u00a0And fluids. \u00a0And they need a lot of attention and just when you think you’ve got them figured out, they hit a growth spurt, get sick or start teething. Life with a baby never goes quite how you expect and is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9898,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,8,16,9],"tags":[39,420,429],"class_list":["post-9740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-mommys-life","category-baby-business","category-breastfeeding","category-family-life","tag-baby","tag-mommy-life","tag-murphys-law"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9740","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9740"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9740\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9902,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9740\/revisions\/9902"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9740"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9740"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9740"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}