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To the Super-Outgoing\u00a0Mom,<\/p>\n
It seems like you’re everywhere I go lately.\u00a0 From the homeschool group at the park to the fast food restaurant where I take\u00a0the kids so I could have a break and even at\u00a0the airport.\u00a0 Everywhere I go\u00a0with my children, there you are.<\/p>\n
You’re always the first to say hello and start a conversation. \u00a0You have a lot of energy and a lot to say, you never seem to stop talking. \u00a0We engage in small talk: how old our kids are, their personalities and tendencies and usually the conversation turns to some parenting topic (homeschooling, birth, extracurricular activities, breastfeeding). \u00a0You’re desperate to make a connection and continue the conversation even as it turns awkward.<\/p>\n
It’s not that I don’t like you, I mean I don’t even know you, but really the problem is that I don’t know how to interact with you.\u00a0 See, I’m not like you and I just don’t really understand you.<\/p>\n
I’m super friendly and will smile at anyone which is probably why you struck up a conversation in the first place.\u00a0 But that’s so not my style, a smile is as far as I will go on my own.\u00a0 I’m not one to start a conversation with a total stranger so\u00a0when you take the initiative, I’m\u00a0happy to chat. \u00a0But as the conversation naturally fizzles out and you desperately try to keep it going, I get uncomfortable and I’m not sure what to do or say.<\/p>\n
And I can’t force connections that aren’t there. \u00a0I can get along with pretty much anyone and hate to be rude, but sometimes you’re just too much for me, super-outgoing mom. \u00a0Sometimes it’s just not friends at first sight no matter how desperately you try to make it happen.<\/p>\n
But other times I just need time for a relationship to develop. \u00a0I don’t really have an interest in putting myself out there for someone I’m never going to see again. \u00a0But know, if I see you again and again over time, I will become more comfortable and start to open up.<\/p>\n
I always try to be nice, I hate to be rude. I will answer your questions, though often with short, direct answers. \u00a0It’s not because I don’t\u00a0want<\/em> to talk to you but more because I don’t know\u00a0how<\/em> to talk to you as you push the conversation into the awkward zone.<\/p>\n I need things to feel natural, easy and organic. \u00a0I don’t do well when things feel forced and uncomfortable, I’m just not one for small talk. \u00a0I hate small talk almost as much as I hate busy work and I avoid both at all costs!<\/p>\n Just ask my friends and family, we have plenty of awkward silences while I wait for the conversation to develop naturally. \u00a0I can do awkward silence, I can’t do awkward conversation.<\/p>\n So next time you see me at the park, sitting on a bench by myself (because I’m not one to follow my kids around and because it’s the only “free time” I get in a day), I hope you’ll still chat with me if you want to. \u00a0But know that it might be awkward for me and that might make it awkward for you but I’m doing the best I’m comfortable with.<\/p>\n And if the awkward silences become too much for you and you feel the need wander away to “help” your child or chat with another mommy, it’s cool. \u00a0No hard feelings here, maybe next time.<\/p>\nPin it!<\/a><\/h3>\n
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