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<\/a><\/p>\nWhen I started blogging, I knew that I was putting my words out into the world where anyone could access them. \u00a0I know every time I click “publish” that I am leaving myself open to criticism, ridicule and nastiness. \u00a0I learned early on to have a thick skin and be able to take it, and if I can’t, then I don’t publish it.<\/p>\n
I’ve had two instances of very negative and somewhat hurtful feedback in my little blogging career. \u00a0The first came somewhat early and I went on the defensive, I responded to every negative comment and defended my stand point, I published a “retaliation” post, I fought back! \u00a0My second was just a few weeks ago, with my “I’m Glad I Found Love in a Low-Tech World”<\/a> story on Huffington Post<\/a>.<\/p>\n My initial reaction was to fight again, I wanted to defend myself, make people understand what I\u00a0meant<\/em> when I originally wrote those words, where they came from. \u00a0The comments honestly didn’t make me mad or hurt my feelings (some of them even made me laugh), I just felt so misunderstood. \u00a0But I was too tired that first night. \u00a0And the second. \u00a0And by the third I had come up with a revised plan to address the negative comments on my blog since I knew people who posted publicly on Huffington were just looking for a reaction, to start trouble. \u00a0But then I didn’t have time the fourth\u00a0day. \u00a0Or the fifth. \u00a0And by a week on, it didn’t matter to me anymore, I had come to terms with the reactions and moved on.<\/p>\n I consider myself to have a very good “perspective taking” ability. \u00a0And while I may not change my opinion to match others’, I can understand when people have an\u00a0opinion that is different from mine, when not everyone sees the world in my light. \u00a0I understand how our life experiences shape how we view things and I’m not one to try to change other people’s minds. \u00a0In fact, I’m fascinated by how other people see the world and the differences in our views (probably one of the reasons I love traveling to new places that are so different from my world).<\/p>\n I first stumbled across the concept of perspective taking when we were still living in Dublin. \u00a0I had received the book\u00a0Mind in the Making<\/em> by Ellen Galinsky as a Christmas present and I used to read it on the quiet train rides to and from the dance studio when I left the girls behind. \u00a0The book is subtitled “The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs” and covers other\u00a0mainstream topics such as focus and self-control; communicating; making connections; critical thinking; taking on challenges; and self-directed, engaged learning. \u00a0All things you hear about often. \u00a0But perspective taking, simply the ability to understand other people’s opinions, is not one I had heard much about in my studies or reading.<\/p>\n And as I read the chapter (#2, indicating the importance per the author’s opinion), I had a lot of “ah-ha!” moments. \u00a0I could relate to what the author was saying, I could look at myself and say “I am good at this,” but I could also look at other people I knew and say “he is\u00a0not<\/em> good at this at all!” and it helped me to better understand my relationships and why there was sometimes conflict and disconnect.<\/p>\n It’s also helped me to be more aware of fostering these skills in my children. \u00a0I use phrases with them like “how do you think that made her feel?” “what can you do different next time?” and “this is not just about you, your actions affect other people.” \u00a0I want them to know and understand\u00a0that not everyone sees things the way they do. \u00a0And even though they are still young and are supposed to be self-involved and self-centered, I figure it is never to early to open their eyes and minds.<\/p>\n