{"id":8456,"date":"2015-06-09T08:00:09","date_gmt":"2015-06-09T12:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/?p=8456"},"modified":"2017-02-07T15:45:34","modified_gmt":"2017-02-07T20:45:34","slug":"the-uncovered-truth-about-breastfeeding-in-public","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/2015\/06\/09\/the-uncovered-truth-about-breastfeeding-in-public\/","title":{"rendered":"The UnCovered Truth about Breastfeeding in Public"},"content":{"rendered":"

I distinctly remember the first time I nursed in public without a cover. \u00a0It was with Sugarplum, my 2nd child. \u00a0I managed to nurse my oldest to 18 months without feeling the need to ditch the cover. \u00a0Honeybun was more than happy snuggled in my sling<\/a> and I was more than happy keeping her that way.<\/p>\n

Nursing in public is intimidating the first few times. \u00a0Even completely covering, Honeybun was a few weeks old before I ever attempted out of the house feeding and even then I still did weeks of nursing in the car. \u00a0After the\u00a0first few times, though, I was fine with feeding her out and about, but I\u00a0did feel\u00a0protected behind our cover.<\/p>\n

It was quickly apparent, though, that Sugarplum was an entirely different child. \u00a0That first public feed was at a restaurant after our initial visit with the pediatrician when she was only 4 days old. \u00a0In that short time, we struggled<\/a> greatly. \u00a0Sugarplum had a tiny little mouth, one of the first things we noticed while analyzing every inch of her shortly after she was born. \u00a0And that tiny mouth was not keen on opening wide to get a good latch. \u00a0But she was hungry and I was insistent on nursing so we trucked along, doing the best we could.<\/p>\n

\"s<\/a><\/p>\n

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I let her feed as she needed\u00a0and practiced my “deep, relaxation” breaths I’d mastered during my prep for labor<\/a> as pain shot through my breasts and cracked, bleeding nipples. \u00a0At home I would take her off and try again if the latch was bad. \u00a0And again. \u00a0And again. \u00a0And again. \u00a0Until we were both so frustrated that I just let her eat whatever way got her the food she desperately wanted and the only food I was prepared to give her.<\/p>\n

That day in the restaurant, at only 4 days old, when the tiny little cries started, I looked at hubby and told him “she’s hungry and I may not be able to cover. \u00a0I just need to feed her.” \u00a0He got a little uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. \u00a0He knew how we’d been struggling, he’d held my hand and rubbed my back during the middle of the night feeds as I breathed heavy, sometimes squeaking out in pain as tears filled my eyes.<\/p>\n

We all got through that feed, without a cover, but\u00a0I nearly cried when during a quick stop at the store for baby needs she spit up blood. \u00a0First terrified at the thought of all the horrible things that could be wrong with my little baby and then when I realized it was\u00a0my<\/em> blood that she had gotten from my cracked nipples while nursing.<\/p>\n

I could have given up right there. \u00a0I could have said “enough is enough!” and bought a stock of formula, but I believe in breastfeeding and giving up never even crossed my mind. \u00a0We persisted and eventually we got it figured out and our nursing relationship lasted 27 months<\/a>, near the end of my first trimester with Doodle. \u00a0But what we never really figured out from that first outing was how to nurse with a cover.<\/p>\n

She would allow me to cover her in the sling if I was walking\/ or standing but otherwise she was too wiggly, too curious about the world. \u00a0And I learned that I didn’t\u00a0need<\/em> to cover. \u00a0That even her tiny little head covered more than enough of my business. \u00a0I got good at latching her on quickly and discreetly and really fast at covering back up (one of the reasons I prefer nursing tanks and shirts that open from the top<\/a>). \u00a0Even living with her in Ireland where breastfeeding rates are much lower, I never felt awkward breastfeeding her when we were out and about, I would just find a quiet corner where I could sit and be undisturbed and unnoticed, if possible.<\/p>\n

And even though nursing came easier with Doodle (aside from our struggles with a forceful letdown and oversupply<\/a>), I never really went back to the cover. \u00a0He is a hotbody like his daddy and being a May baby, he would often turn into an instant sweatball as soon as I put an extra layer on him which would bother him and disrupt the feed. \u00a0And I couldn’t hide in the corner anymore, I had two other kiddos that needed my attention. \u00a0So I got used to feeding him at busy restaurants, the park, anywhere and\u00a0every where<\/a><\/em> we were and only once was I made to feel uncomfortable about it (by a few teenage girls!<\/a>)<\/p>\n

But I’ll admit, I do get a little hot under the collar when people start the debate on whether or not mommies should breastfeed in public. \u00a0Usually the debate focuses not on if<\/em> it’s appropriate but rather where and when it’s appropriate. \u00a0People will say “breastfeeding is fine, just do it privately” or “breastfeeding in public is okay, just do it discreetly.”<\/p>\n

And seven years ago I can’t say I would have disagreed. \u00a0Five years ago I wouldn’t have balked at those opinions. \u00a0But, as my stories show, life isn’t so black and white and babies and parenting are the grayest areas you will ever encounter in life. \u00a0“Expect the unexpected” should be every parent’s motto and so to those who think breastfeeding should be done privately and discreetly, I have this to say:<\/p>\n

If you haven’t done it,\u00a0lived it, been there, done that, bought the freaking t-shirt, then maybe you should just keep it to yourself.<\/p>\n

I don’t mean to be rude or inflammatory, but I don’t understand how my\u00a0feeding<\/em> my child makes you uncomfortable. \u00a0You would never ask a bottle-feeding mommy to cover her baby’s face with a blanket. \u00a0You would never expect her to sit in the corner facing a wall. \u00a0And you would never\u00a0dream<\/em> of asking a bottle feeding mommy to “go do that in the bathroom.” \u00a0So why would you ever think these things are appropriate to ask of a breastfeeding mommy?<\/p>\n

\"bottle<\/a><\/p>\n

I don’t see you running\u00a0into Victoria’s Secret demanding to talk to the manager when they post up a larger-than-life lingerie ad in the middle of the shopping mall. \u00a0I didn’t see anyone asking the young girls that walked into the restaurant where my family ate this weekend -*wearing only bathing suit bottoms and tank tops to cover up. \u00a0So why should\u00a0I<\/em> be expected to cover up when feeding my hungry infant? \u00a0Why are these other things more appropriate than nourishing a child even though I remain more covered than both?<\/p>\n

If my breastfeeding makes you uncomfortable, maybe instead of attacking me (and other breastfeeding mommies you encounter), you should look into yourself and figure out\u00a0why<\/em> it makes you uncomfortable. \u00a0Because truthfully, I’m not pulling out my breast for attention, in fact, I’d rather you not look.<\/p>\n

When\u00a0breastfeeding in public, my aim is to\u00a0not<\/em> draw attention to what I am doing. \u00a0I don’t do it to “make a statement”. \u00a0I don’t do it for “the cause” or to normalize breastfeeding. \u00a0I don’t do it for myself at all, I do it for my child (and\u00a0truthfully, sometimes I don’t really want to<\/a>!)<\/p>\n

My only goal is to feed my child the best and easiest meal I can. \u00a0So that s\/he isn’t hungry. \u00a0So that s\/he isn’t screaming and disrupting your day. So that I can remain a part of the world instead of hiding at home for 12+ months. \u00a0So that s\/he can experience all the world has to offer.<\/p>\n

And so that s\/he can grow and become a more understanding and accepting person<\/a> than you seem to be. \u00a0You don’t have to like it. \u00a0You don’t have to agree with it. \u00a0You don’t even have to “accept” it. \u00a0Just respect that I am doing the best I can for my child, myself, and yes, even you! \u00a0(Because as I’ve shared before, breastfeeding really is best for everyone<\/a>!)<\/p>\n

Pin it!<\/em><\/a><\/h3>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I distinctly remember the first time I nursed in public without a cover. \u00a0It was with Sugarplum, my 2nd child. \u00a0I managed to nurse my oldest to 18 months without feeling the need to ditch the cover. \u00a0Honeybun was more than happy snuggled in my sling and I was more than happy keeping her that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8459,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-baby-business","category-breastfeeding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8456","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8456"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8456\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12395,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8456\/revisions\/12395"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8459"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}