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<\/a><\/p>\nThe second time around I knew I could birth naturally, that my body and my mind were capable. \u00a0But I had an extreme fear of a breech presentation. \u00a0It was really the only concern I had because I knew it would possibly mean a c-section (I always said the only way I was having my baby in Ireland was if she came early or was breech because at that time they would have allowed a vaginal birth even with breech presentation).<\/p>\n
With my third, I really didn’t have any fears. \u00a0Until the bleeding started. \u00a0And everything changed. \u00a0I found out I had a complete placenta previa<\/a> and all of a sudden, my biggest fear through both of my other pregnancies (a c-section) was a very real possibility. \u00a0I was lucky, though, that the previa resolved<\/a> and I had a beautiful homebirth<\/a>.<\/p>\n But that leaves me in an awkward situation now with baby #4 coming. \u00a0While I haven’t had any bleeding this pregnancy, I know that a previa is much more likely since I’ve had one before. \u00a0I know that if I do have it again, it may not resolve this time. \u00a0I know that a previa could result in bleeding, premature delivery and other complications way beyond a c-section. \u00a0And I won’t know if I need to worry or not for another two days when I go in for my anatomical ultrasound.<\/p>\n At the point when most people are excitedly waiting for their appointment to find out the gender of their child, I am nervously awaiting the news of whether or not everything is okay.<\/p>\n And I have the secondary fear this pregnancy of a reoccurrence of the\u00a0Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (abbreviated SPD) which I suffered with during my last pregnancy causing\u00a0debilitating hip and pelvic pain<\/a>. \u00a0Thinking of going back to that place where I couldn’t get out of bed, move my legs, roll over at night is quite frankly terrifying. \u00a0And while I’ve been trying to take it easy in the dance studio, avoiding deep hip stretching that felt soooooo good last pregnancy, part of me knows it’s not going to matter. \u00a0If the pain is going to return, it’s going to return and it’s just a matter of\u00a0when<\/em>.<\/p>\n So, I wait. \u00a0I wait for my ultrasound to see what my future holds. \u00a0I wait for the hip\/pelvic pain to begin (and hope I can better manage\/control it this time around). \u00a0Meanwhile, this pregnancy draaaags on<\/a>…<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n