{"id":7361,"date":"2015-03-03T09:13:17","date_gmt":"2015-03-03T14:13:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/?p=7361"},"modified":"2018-09-18T14:07:53","modified_gmt":"2018-09-18T18:07:53","slug":"protecting-marriage-managing-move","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/2015\/03\/03\/protecting-marriage-managing-move\/","title":{"rendered":"Protecting Your Marriage While Managing a Move"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m definitely no marriage expert. \u00a0While hubby and I are happily married, it’s not because we’re always happy but rather because we\u00a0choose<\/em> to be happily married. \u00a0We argue, we yell, we infuriate each other and probably break every rule for a successful marriage, but it is never because we don’t cherish or value or marriage. \u00a0It’s because we are human and sometimes the stress of life overshadows the love that we share and the commitment we have to each other (which began long before we were legally committed).<\/p>\n

When I joined the March Marriage Challenge<\/a> being hosted by The Eyes of a Boy<\/a>, at first I thought about writing some cheesy post about why marriage is great. \u00a0Or how being married to your best friend is awesome. Or everything I’ve learned about life through my marriage.<\/p>\n

\"11021138_10101779239631417_6603165811527227002_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But I don’t have a perfect marriage and I don’t want to pretend to nor do I want to pretend to have all the answers. \u00a0So I decided to write about something I do\u00a0<\/em>know about: moving.<\/p>\n

\"moving<\/a><\/p>\n

Hubby and I while moving into our first Florida house, a month before our wedding.<\/address>\n
\u00a0<\/address>\n

Moving is stressful no matter how far you go. \u00a0Moving is stressful whether it’s just your stuff or a large family. \u00a0Moving is just.plain.stressful. \u00a0Always.<\/p>\n

But add an ocean into the equation. \u00a0And a company bankruptcy. \u00a0And a toddler. \u00a0And an impending birth. \u00a0And you’ve got stress times a thousand!<\/p>\n

Our big move\u00a0to Ireland wasn’t our first time moving together. \u00a0We had moved across the country straight after college, with all our belongings (including our cat) crammed into my Escape <\/a>and hubby’s Maxima, his trunk tethered shut by his bike rack. \u00a0We had nothing to lose because we had nothing to begin with.<\/p>\n

When we moved to South Florida (the first time), we had accumulated things. \u00a0Nice things. \u00a0Things that we didn’t want to get rid of so we hired movers. \u00a0I did all the packing (hubby moved 2 months ahead of me) and the movers just did the heavy lifting and driving.<\/p>\n

But fast forward another 2 1\/2 years, after a wedding and after a baby and the stuff had grown exponentially. \u00a0We had a lot. \u00a0And when we moved overseas we had a lot to do. \u00a0All our worldly belongings were painstakingly sorted into four\u00a0categories: send to storage while we were gone; send by sea, estimated arrival time 6-8 weeks; send by air, estimated arrival time 2-4 weeks; take with us on the airplane.<\/p>\n

\"moving<\/a><\/p>\n

We survived that move. \u00a0And we survived a similar move back (that time sorting into: sell\/give away; ship by sea; ship by air; carry with us).<\/p>\n

I can’t say we “learned a lot” through our moves. \u00a0I don’t remember clearly but I’m sure we yelled a lot. \u00a0And I’m sure I cried a lot. \u00a0But we survived and while we may not have learned anything, there were definitely things we did that aided in our marriage coming out on the other side unscathed.<\/p>\n

While these applied to our overseas moves, they certainly can be applied to any move, no matter how big or small!<\/p>\n

1. \u00a0Leave your partner’s\u00a0stuff alone.<\/h3>\n

Not once in any of our moves did I tell hubby what\u00a0he couldn’t bring. \u00a0If he asked about something, I was honest, but if he wanted something I never said “no!” \u00a0A lot of animosity and frustration can build if one person feels their stuff is less valued than that of their partner’s. \u00a0We both have a lot of crap that means a lot to us for varied (and, truthfully, often stupid) reasons and I would never tolerate hubby\u00a0telling me I had to get rid of something so I would never do it to him either. \u00a0Be respectful of the memories and connections your partner has with his\/her stuff. \u00a0(Even if it means letting him taking a pair of shorts all the way<\/em> across the ocean and all the way<\/em> back with your car keys in the pocket that had been lost for months before the original move only to be found when he decided to get rid of them upon moving back…clearly those shorts were needed in a country that has an average yearly temperature of 50 degrees!)<\/p>\n

2. \u00a0Let the stress go.<\/h3>\n

We all let stress get to us once in a while. \u00a0We all do things we regret out of stress, exhaustion, frustration. \u00a0But don’t hold on to it. \u00a0If you lash out at your partner in the heat of the move, apologize and move on. \u00a0If your partner lashes out at you, know that it’s just a matter of moving stress and let it go. \u00a0Keep in mind, it will all be over soon.<\/p>\n

\"leaving<\/p>\n

3. \u00a0Look forward to your future and cherish your past.<\/h3>\n

Don’t get caught up in the logistics of moving. \u00a0Do what you’ve got to do to get where you need to go but don’t let it sour your experience. \u00a0Preparing for a trans-Atlantic move while simultaneously battling morning sickness could easily push one over the edge but through it all I never lost sight of\u00a0why\u00a0<\/em>we were going and the excitement of it. \u00a0Within the first week in Dublin, we were out sightseeing. \u00a0And our last weekend, just days before the movers came, we took the time to see all the things we had missed (we even hosted\u00a0a dinner party!) \u00a0We never let the stress of the moves overshadow the reason for the move and it kept us grounded, focused and away from\u00a0too<\/em> much stress.<\/p>\n

4. Teamwork is everything.<\/h3>\n

Moving is a big task, don’t put it all on one person. \u00a0Of course, some things will be easier for one person (for example, I have more time at home to sort and pack things) but it shouldn’t be left\u00a0ALL to one person. \u00a0Divvy up the tasks or work together to get things done. \u00a0And if you have kids, make sure they help too! \u00a0The more helping hands involved, the merrier everyone will be.<\/p>\n

\"Moving<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a05. Don’t let moving rule (or ruin) your life.<\/h3>\n

It’s easy to get wrapped up in moving stuff. \u00a0The packing, sorting, selling, the stress! \u00a0It can take over your every second, every thought, everything. \u00a0But don’t let it. \u00a0Continue doing things together that you’ve always enjoyed. \u00a0Go out to eat as you always have. \u00a0Take a break to go do something you’ve always enjoyed like going to the movies or walking at a park. Take the time to get away from the stress and try to actually forget about it while you’re gone. \u00a0And do the same when you get where you’re going. \u00a0Don’t stress about unpacking, getting everything just right, right away. \u00a0Take the time to still enjoy life.<\/p>\n

Moving is like flying with young children<\/a>, no one really likes to do it but it’s something that has to be done in life sometimes and there is always an ending point. \u00a0When it’s done, it’s done and your marriage doesn’t have to be a casualty of the stress!<\/p>\n

Check out all the great posts being shared in this month-long March Marriage Challenge<\/a>\u00a0and learn more about the challenge here<\/a>.<\/address>\n
\u00a0<\/address>\n

\u00a0Pin it!<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m definitely no marriage expert. \u00a0While hubby and I are happily married, it’s not because we’re always happy but rather because we\u00a0choose to be happily married. \u00a0We argue, we yell, we infuriate each other and probably break every rule for a successful marriage, but it is never because we don’t cherish or value or marriage. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7384,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,608,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-mommys-life","category-love-and-marraige","category-tiny-travellers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7361"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14263,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7361\/revisions\/14263"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7384"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}