{"id":3179,"date":"2014-02-26T08:05:04","date_gmt":"2014-02-26T13:05:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/?p=3179"},"modified":"2014-02-26T08:07:10","modified_gmt":"2014-02-26T13:07:10","slug":"signs-of-struggle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/2014\/02\/26\/signs-of-struggle\/","title":{"rendered":"Signs of Struggle"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mommying is Hard<\/a>. It\u2019s no joke, it\u2019s no gimmick, it\u2019s not a catchphrase:\u00a0 Mommying is just plain hard.\u00a0 The expectations put on mommies these days are ridiculous.\u00a0 As a group, we mommies are each just trying to do our best for our families by making the choices that suit our own personal situations.\u00a0 But with everyone having an opinion on what is best, right, most important, safest, healthiest, etc., it\u2019s hard not to feel overwhelmed.<\/p>\n

There is a point, though, when that overwhelmed feeling we all have becomes something else.\u00a0 All mommies have their lows, many of us get the blues but sometimes it doesn\u2019t stop there and full-on postpartum depression can set in.<\/p>\n

So, I\u2019m not a doctor (and I am in no way offering medical advice) and I\u2019ve never suffered from postpartum depression but I am a mommy to three and a friend\/support to countless other mommies.\u00a0 I have a pretty good idea of what is \u201cnormal\u201d and what may be warning signs of a more serious situation.\u00a0 These are the things that catch my attention and make me wonder if a fellow mommy is experiencing postpartum depression:<\/p>\n

A desire to be away from her baby<\/b>:\u00a0 Sure, we all want time to ourselves and a few minutes of quiet, peace and calm but to desperately want to run away from the baby, is not typical.\u00a0 I know when I have struggled with early mommyhood, I have wanted to run away WITH the baby\u2026to leave everything else behind and live happily ever after just the two of us.\u00a0 I also know that when I get overwhelmed, I don\u2019t desperately want someone to come watch the baby so I can go away, I want someone to come keep me company while I\u2019m with my baby.<\/p>\n

A lack of interest in things that used to be really important<\/b>:\u00a0 For instance, if I ever stop having periodic freak-outs about never being able to go take a dance class, that would be a HUGE red flag.\u00a0 Even mommies who can\u2019t or don\u2019t do things for themselves or that they used to do, they should still WANT to and maybe even be angry or resentful of not being able to (indicating they still care).<\/p>\n

Suddenly not caring about baby things that used to be non-negotiable<\/b>:\u00a0 This includes the passionate breast feeder, adamant cloth diaperer or co-sleeping advocate who abruptly decides bottles of formula are fine, disposable diapers are easier or the crib is the way to go.\u00a0 If something is crucially important to a mommy during pregnancy and the first few days\/weeks after welcoming baby, she will most likely struggle when choosing to go away from her original choice, not make the decision easily and unexpectedly.<\/p>\n

\"DSC01348\"<\/a>Lacking interest in taking care of herself<\/b>:\u00a0 Sure, all of us mommies miss a shower now and then and may neglect other self-care tasks that were regular pre-baby (like manicures, haircuts, shaved legs, make-up, etc.) but if a mommy doesn\u2019t run for the shower given the chance, it might be a sign they\u2019re struggling.<\/p>\n

Postpartum depression is such a taboo thing in our society (up there will miscarriage and disappointment in ones birth experience).\u00a0 Mommies are expected to be happy they have a healthy baby.\u00a0 Mommies are expected to bear the struggles and oftentimes the \u201cbaby blues\u201d are brushed off as a normal effect of sleep deprivation; physical, hormonal and life changes; and all the sacrifices mommies make for their children.<\/p>\n

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As mommies I think we put a lot of stock in the “what ifs”. What if I could go take ballet class again? What if I had extra help around the house? What if I could shower every morning like I used to? What if I could just have a gosh darn bottle of wine!? And What if I could just get a full night’s sleep?<\/p>\n

But the real question is: what if a mommy gets all those things and doesn’t feel better?\u00a0\u00a0 Sometimes I think we pick an unattainable solution to our problems so we don’t have to face, accept or deal with what’s really wrong.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mommying is Hard. It\u2019s no joke, it\u2019s no gimmick, it\u2019s not a catchphrase:\u00a0 Mommying is just plain hard.\u00a0 The expectations put on mommies these days are ridiculous.\u00a0 As a group, we mommies are each just trying to do our best for our families by making the choices that suit our own personal situations.\u00a0 But with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,9,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-baby-business","category-family-life","category-mommy-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3179"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3336,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3179\/revisions\/3336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}