Punishment is commonly considered a \u201cdirty\u201d word when it comes to parenting.\u00a0 It\u2019s generally seen as a negative term and is thought to be something that is done TO a person by another and is not deemed appropriate for young children.\u00a0 However, it\u2019 just a word and in reality \u201cpunishment\u201d (A penalty inflicted) happens to all of us all the time, we just don\u2019t think of it in terms of being a punishment.\u00a0 The term \u201cconsequence\u201d is used much more frequently and is seen as being lighter or more appropriate, specifically with small children.\u00a0 Consequences come in many forms, but the ones I try to focus on with my children are \u201cnatural\u201d and \u201clogical\u201d as they are the best at helping children learn right from wrong and dissuading them from repeating a behavior.<\/p>\n
Think of Natural Consequences as the \u201ccause and effect\u201d of the world.\u00a0 Babies learn early on if they cry, mom or dad will come.\u00a0 Later they learn if they push a button on a toy it will do a specific action.\u00a0 These are both Natural Consequences of the child\u2019s actions, things that happen automatically without a separate outside force (usually an adult).\u00a0 Good adult examples of Natural Consequences are: if you forget to put leftovers away, they will go bad; if you don\u2019t fill up the car it will run out of gas; if you try to get something just out of reach it will fall on your head; if you don\u2019t feel your baby when they are hungry they will cry.<\/p>\n
Logical Consequences, on the other hand, are imposed by another force but are directly related to the action.\u00a0 Babies experience Logical Consequences when they throw their plate and mommy takes their dinner away or if when they bite a friend, the friend is moved away.\u00a0 Since the consequence is directly related to the action, it helps to discourage the original behavior in the future.\u00a0 Good adult examples of Logical Consequences are: if you forget to pay the electric bill, your power will be shut off; if you are late to work you may get fired; if you drive too fast you could get a speeding ticket; If you leave crayons laying around your child might color on the walls.<\/p>\n
Especially in young children, consequences that are not natural or logical often don\u2019t get the message across to the child that their action was unacceptable.\u00a0 For example, taking away TV privileges when a child hits another child doesn\u2019t teach the child not to hit. Here are some examples of Natural and Logical consequences in different situations:<\/p>\n
Action,\u00a0Consequences\u00a0(N=Natural, L=Logical)<\/b><\/p>\n
Sugarplum \u00a0tries to climb on the counter, (N) Sugarplum \u00a0falls, (L) Sugarplum \u00a0is removed from the room<\/p>\n
Honeybun\u00a0doesn\u2019t eat her dinner, (N) Honeybun\u00a0is hungry, (L) Honeybun\u00a0doesn\u2019t get dessert<\/p>\n
Sugarplum \u00a0has a pee-pee accident, (N) Sugarplum \u00a0feels cold and wet, (L) Sugarplum \u00a0has to stop playing and change clothes<\/p>\n
Girls are fighting over a toy, (N) One of them may get hurt (pushing, etc.), (L) Toy gets taken away<\/p>\n
Honeybun\u00a0throws a toy at Sugarplum ‘s\u00a0head, (N) The toy breaks (and Sugarplum \u00a0gets hurt), (L) Toy gets taken away and Honeybun\u00a0gets some alone time<\/p>\n
Honeybun\u00a0fights going to bed, (N) Honeybun\u00a0will be tired, (L) Honeybun\u00a0gets comfort item(s) taken away<\/p>\n
Girls won\u2019t clean up toys, (N) Toys could get lost or broken, (L) Toys get put in trash bag and \u201cthrown away\u201d<\/p>\n
Obviously, while Natural Consequences are the most effective, they are not always the best option.\u00a0 I try to avoid letting my children get hurt from a Natural Consequence and instead intervene as necessary with a Logical Consequence instead.\u00a0 I will admit, however, to once knocking over Honeybun’s\u00a0chair when she refused to stop pushing her feet on the table despite my warnings she would fall\/knock the chair over and after using Logical Consequences such as making her stand, leave the table, etc. were unsuccessful. \u00a0HOWEVER, I held onto the chair the whole time and did a slow fall, ensuring she didn\u2019t get hurt.\u00a0 Sometimes you just have to take a stronger approach!\u00a0 I would rather soothe inflicted tears because I scared her than deal with a cracked open head or broken bone. \u00a0\u00a0(I’m also the mom who runs to get the camera when my children are in precarious situations and takes a picture before helping them).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Punishment is commonly considered a \u201cdirty\u201d word when it comes to parenting.\u00a0 It\u2019s generally seen as a negative term and is thought to be something that is done TO a person by another and is not deemed appropriate for young children.\u00a0 However, it\u2019 just a word and in reality \u201cpunishment\u201d (A penalty inflicted) happens to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[284],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-home-school-zone"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=255"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10061,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255\/revisions\/10061"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}