![\"encouragement](\"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/encoragin-vs-praising.png\")
<\/p>\nHate is a very strong word that I try not to use too much in life and there aren\u2019t many things I truly hate in life.\u00a0 The list pretty much amounts to snakes, big spiders (Honeybun\u00a0can tell you about the one in her bathroom that made me scream and run around crazy) and celery.\u00a0 The only other thing that instantly makes me cringe and my blood pressure rise is when someone tells my children \u201cGood Job!\u201d\u00a0 A kind stranger or new friend doesn\u2019t irk me, but sometimes I want to punch family or friends we spend a lot of time with (and especially those who actually work with kids) who constantly use this phrase.\u00a0 (And don\u2019t even get me started on people telling my girls \u201cYou\u2019re so smart!\u201d\u00a0 They already know how to use their cuteness against me, they don\u2019t need any more weapons!)<\/p>\n
I learned a lot my first year of working in a preschool classroom and although I never got along well with my co-teacher, I did learn a lot from watching her.\u00a0 But the most important thing I\u2019ve taken into parenting from that first year\u00a0is the one thing she actually sat down and taught me:\u00a0 the importance of encouraging children rather than praising.\u00a0 I still have the worksheets and the idea is something I have tried to share with every other team of teacher I\u2019ve worked with since.<\/p>\n
The main difference is that praising highlights how the speaker is feeling about a situation whereas encouragement focuses on how the doer feels.\u00a0 Praise is vague, uses a personal judgment and creates a desire to do well for others, discouraging children from learning independent judgment whereas encouragement should be specific to the situation, acknowledge effort and aims to create the want to do good things for oneself, motivating children to work intrinsically rather than for external rewards or praises.<\/p>\n
Some Examples of Praising:<\/b><\/p>\n
Good Job<\/p>\n
Great Story<\/p>\n
I like your picture<\/p>\n
Your drawing is beautiful<\/p>\n
You\u2019re so smart<\/p>\n
What a good helper you are<\/p>\n
Some Examples of Encouragement:<\/b><\/p>\n
You did it<\/p>\n
You cleaned up so fast<\/p>\n
You got all the pieces put in the right place<\/p>\n
You worked a long time on your picture<\/p>\n
When you help, we are ready so much quicker<\/p>\n
We often use praise because it\u2019s quick and easy.\u00a0 You can throw out a \u201cgood job!\u201d without even having to analyze the situation, and this is my problem with it.\u00a0 It\u2019s overused and has lost its meaning in our world.\u00a0 Everyone is \u201cgreat!\u201d and this is creating competition among children who learn to seek this kind of praise (even though society is trying to get rid of competition in children altogether).<\/p>\n
Encouragement takes a lot more thought and (as the examples show) more words but, it helps children to see what they have done rather than how they made someone else feel.\u00a0 Encouragement helps children want to do better for themselves, not just for pleasing adults.\u00a0 When in a hurry I tend to use \u201cYou did it!\u201d as a quick and easy encouragement.<\/p>\n
Some tips for using encouragement:<\/b><\/p>\n
Be Specific:\u00a0 highlight exactly what a child did<\/p>\n
Focus on effort rather than the product: acknowledge improvement and progress<\/p>\n
Avoid labeling children: instead of pointing out what they are (a nice boy, good helper), hilghlight what they did (you shared, you helped)<\/p>\n
Focus on the child\u2019s feelings, not your own: avoid \u201cI like\u2026\u201d and instead go with \u201cyou look\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hate is a very strong word that I try not to use too much in life and there aren\u2019t many things I truly hate in life.\u00a0 The list pretty much amounts to snakes, big spiders (Honeybun\u00a0can tell you about the one in her bathroom that made me scream and run around crazy) and celery.\u00a0 The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10351,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[284],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-home-school-zone"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=201"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10352,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201\/revisions\/10352"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}