{"id":147,"date":"2013-01-30T08:05:43","date_gmt":"2013-01-30T13:05:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/?p=147"},"modified":"2016-08-14T12:07:41","modified_gmt":"2016-08-14T16:07:41","slug":"a-baby-in-mommys-tummy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/2013\/01\/30\/a-baby-in-mommys-tummy\/","title":{"rendered":"A Baby in Mommy’s Tummy!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sharing news of\u00a0a new baby with your kids is\u00a0an exciting thing but how you tell a sibling about a new baby brother or sister can determine how your child takes the news and a\u00a0lot of parents wonder when the best time to share a pregnancy with their young children is.\u00a0 For me, it\u2019s always been right away.\u00a0 There are a lot of\u00a0reasons people \u00a0say it\u2019s better to wait but for me, the right time has always been at the very start.<\/p>\n

(This post contains affiliate links meaning if you click and make a purchase, Beyond Mommying may receive a small commission which is used for the upkeep of the website.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Here\u00a0why I like to share the news of a new baby with siblings right away:<\/h2>\n

What if I have a miscarriage, how do I explain that to my child?<\/b><\/h3>\n

Won\u2019t you have to explain it anyways?\u00a0 Children pick up on when their parents are sad so unless you\u2019re going to hide your extreme sadness and grief in the event of a miscarriage, I personally think it would be easier to explain the concept of a miscarriage after they\u2019ve already been introduced to the concept of a new baby rather than trying to explain both at the same time. (For these same reasons, I also believe we need to move away from keeping pregnancies secret for the first 12 weeks.<\/a>)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Young children don\u2019t really understand anyways so there\u2019s no hurry.<\/b>\u00a0\"h<\/a><\/h3>\n

That one is a complete lie and misunderstanding of young children.\u00a0 We told Honeybun\u00a0I was pregnant with Sugarplum when she was 15 months old.\u00a0 Every morning when we woke up I would say \u201cHoneybun, there\u2019s a baby in Mommy\u2019s tummy!\u201d\u00a0 She understood when the baby was making me sick and when we went in for the ultrasound she understood what she was supposed to be seeing.\u00a0 With my 3rd\u00a0baby Honeybun\u00a0was even naming parts on the ultrasound before I could, \u201cMommy, that\u2019s the baby\u2019s arm!\u201d<\/p>\n

9 months is an eternity for children to wait so why rush it? <\/b><\/h3>\n

I\u2019ve found the more time you have to talk about the new baby the better.\u00a0 Children process and absorb things at different paces, something as abstract as a new baby takes time to understand so allowing the child to have time to think about it and ask questions is really helpful.\u00a0 By the time Sugarplum arrived Honeybun\u00a0was so excited to see her we never had a problem with rivalry or attention because Sugarplum had already been a part of our lives for 8+ months.\u00a0 The excitement outweighs the constant \u201cis your baby coming out now?\u201d questions and I just use those as opportunities to discuss our future with the baby and what life will be like, asking questions like \u201cwhat do you want to do with the baby when it comes out?\u201d\u00a0 and \u201cwhat kind of things do you think the baby will like\/need?\u201d<\/p>\n

How you deliver any news about a new baby to siblings will be key in how your child reacts.<\/h3>\n

If you always talk about the baby joyously and lovingly, it\u2019s likely your children will be excited too.\u00a0 Likewise, if you deliver the news hesitantly, weary of their reaction, there\u2019s a good chance they\u2019ll pick up on your apprehension and think it\u2019s a bad thing and will react accordingly.\u00a0 Of course when talking about the realities of a baby such as the crying and how much time and attention the baby will need it\u2019s okay to be serious, but I always try to put a positive spin on everything and stay upbeat.\"girls<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve also found the more often you talk about it the more excited the kids will be and the more likely they will be ready for the baby when he\/she arrives.\u00a0 The baby comes up all the time and my kids\u00a0ask tons of questions and I always answer truthfully.\u00a0 My girls already know pretty much everything about the baby inside and how it\u2019s (hopefully) going to get out.<\/p>\n

Older kids may ask how the baby got in there also but luckily that has not been an issue for us. The younger the kids are, the less they\u2019re going to really understand and sometimes they\u2019ll make their own understandings.\u00a0 I let my kids\u00a0feel the baby moving and try to explain what\u2019s going on (hiccups or if they\u2019re poking at the baby\u2019s bum), Sugarplum used to think Doodle was\u00a0\u201cwalking awound in dere\u201d and always talked to the boys\u00a0through my belly button (even though I knew\u00a0that\u2019s not where the baby was hanging out) but the most important thing to me is that they\u00a0know that there\u2019s a baby in there.<\/p>\n

Some resources I recommend for preparing and sparking conversations with siblings about a new baby on the way are:<\/h2>\n

Children\u2019s Books\u00a0<\/b>(affiliate links):<\/em><\/h3>\n

I’m a Big Sister<\/a>\"\"\u00a0<\/i>by Joanna Cole (there is also a big brother<\/a>\"\" version)
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/h4>\n

The New Baby<\/a>\"\"<\/i> by Mercer Mayer
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/h4>\n

What Baby Needs<\/a>\"\" <\/i>by William and Martha Sears
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/h4>\n

Hello Baby!<\/a>\"\"\u00a0<\/i>by Lizzy Rockwell
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/h4>\n

Usborne First Experiences The New Baby<\/a>\"\"<\/em> by Anne Civardi, Michelle Bates and Stephen Cartwright
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/h4>\n

Adult Books that show babies growing in the womb\u00a0(Affiliate Links):<\/em><\/h3>\n

A Child Is Born<\/a>\"\" <\/i>\u00a0by Lennart Nilsson and Lars Hamberger
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/h4>\n

Watch Me Grow: A Unique, 3-Dimensional Week-by-Week Look at Your Baby’s Behavior and Development in the Womb<\/a>\"\" <\/i> By Stuart Campbell
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/h4>\n

Also, since I\u2019m planning a homebirth<\/a>, I\u2019ve also shared an animated video of a baby being born where you can see the process from inside that would also\u00a0be great for first time parents or anyone who is unfamiliar with the process:\u00a0Labor and Birth<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Pin it!<\/a>\"Tips<\/a><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sharing news of\u00a0a new baby with your kids is\u00a0an exciting thing but how you tell a sibling about a new baby brother or sister can determine how your child takes the news and a\u00a0lot of parents wonder when the best time to share a pregnancy with their young children is.\u00a0 For me, it\u2019s always been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11490,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,9,535],"tags":[39,37,24,36,38],"class_list":["post-147","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-baby-business","category-family-life","category-recently-updated","tag-baby","tag-brother","tag-pregnancy","tag-siblings","tag-sister"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=147"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11493,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147\/revisions\/11493"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=147"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=147"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=147"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}