{"id":14386,"date":"2019-05-02T14:03:46","date_gmt":"2019-05-02T18:03:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/?p=14386"},"modified":"2019-05-03T09:39:40","modified_gmt":"2019-05-03T13:39:40","slug":"im-not-writing-anymore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/2019\/05\/02\/im-not-writing-anymore\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I&#8217;m Not Writing Anymore"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you&#8217;ve been following Beyond Mommying through the years, you&#8217;ve probably noticed a significant drop in new content.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, when I glanced at my site stats earlier this week, I myself was surprised that my last new post (prior to yesterday) was 2 months ago.<\/p>\n<p>How could that be?!?<\/p>\n<p>Well, it turns out I&#8217;ve only actually published 5 new posts in 2019. That&#8217;s a far cry from the one a day I was putting out there when I began writing.<\/p>\n<p>But that was over 6 years ago. And a lot has changed in those long years.<\/p>\n<p>When I started out as a blogger, I had no idea what I was doing. I didn&#8217;t start a blog to make money or become Facebook famous. I actually didn&#8217;t even know you could make money with blogging until a full year into my journey.<\/p>\n<p>I <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/what-its-all-about\/beyond-mommyings-beginnings\/\">started writing<\/a> to fill a void in my life. To make use of my knowledge and talents that weren&#8217;t being appreciated by the traditional. I had two young daughters, a baby on the way, was trying to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/2013\/07\/01\/one-year-here\/\">integrate back into American life<\/a>, and needed an outlet.<\/p>\n<p>Those first 301 posts I published in 2013 were my thoughts on parenthood and life. They were often short stories or musings. Sometimes I would add a relevant picture. But often I didn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>And then I learned from networking with other bloggers posts with pictures did better. So I started taking the time to take or track down pictures for every post. And soon after I found out pictures should be &#8220;high quality&#8221; which meant more time editing and formatting pictures. It often takes longer than writing my posts.<\/p>\n<p>I launched my Facebook page the same day I created my blog. But I didn&#8217;t join Pinterest for another 6 months. Twitter was another 4 months after that. And, finally, Instagram more than a year after Beyond Mommying became a thing. (And a lot of other platforms that didn&#8217;t last or I didn&#8217;t enjoy and so abandoned.)<\/p>\n<p>But all those things? They took more time. Each platform requires its own graphic. Each account needs regular &#8220;interaction&#8221; to grow. And that all takes time.<\/p>\n<p>All those years, I did it without much interaction coming back to me. I&#8217;ve never gotten a lot of likes or comments or shares or re-anythings.<\/p>\n<p>I began submitting my articles to other sites. I&#8217;ve been published numerous places all over the internet, sharing my side of parenting. And I saw those articles do well on those sites. I saw the thousands of comments and shares on those other sites pages, but none of it came back to me. Those reactions to my writing belonged to someone else.<\/p>\n<p>And I was okay with it. On my own, I was small but my stats showed that I was reaching people. That&#8217;s what mattered. Even if people didn&#8217;t respond back to me, it was ok because I know that sometimes those who need to hear things the most are the ones who sit in silence.<\/p>\n<p>But over time, my family grew bigger and more complicated. And the hours I spent putting out new content, only to receive silence back, quickly became drowned out by the noise around me. The noise of our busy schedules, the noise of my children&#8217;s growth and need for privacy, and the noise of their little voices asking for my attention.<\/p>\n<p>And suddenly, the silence wasn&#8217;t worth it any longer. The words that now constantly fill me up inside, my reality of motherhood and marriage and life are no longer things that I care to put out for public scrutiny. Even if those words could help people, it matters more now who they might hurt.<\/p>\n<p>The decline has been slow, but steady. I held on as long as I could. I tried to force it for a long time. I hoped deep inside that I would eventually feel the desire to come back to writing. I lived with immense guilt for basically abandoning what, at one point, was another one of my babies.<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-14390 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/blog-posts-over-time-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"966\" height=\"363\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/blog-posts-over-time-1.jpg 966w, https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/blog-posts-over-time-1-390x147.jpg 390w, https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/blog-posts-over-time-1-300x113.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 966px) 100vw, 966px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>But&#8230;Life changed. Family changed. <em>I<\/em> changed.<\/p>\n<p>Hitting &#8220;publish&#8221; no longer brings me relief and happiness. The joy I used to feel by &#8220;getting it all out,&#8221; or sharing something that was genuinely helpful or useful no longer feels important to <em>me<\/em>. I&#8217;ve come to a place where a lot of what I would write about feels insignificant and unimportant in the larger scheme of life.<\/p>\n<p>So I&#8217;ve basically given up on writing.<\/p>\n<p>And you know what? I&#8217;m ok with this, too.<\/p>\n<p>Because it&#8217;s not &#8220;good-bye,&#8221; it&#8217;s &#8220;see you around.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I know Beyond Mommying isn&#8217;t going anywhere, it will always be here when I need it. I can come back and visit whenever I feel the need or desire.<\/p>\n<p>And while I can&#8217;t say if I&#8217;ll ever return to my former writing self, I know for sure we&#8217;ll all be fine either way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you&#8217;ve been following Beyond Mommying through the years, you&#8217;ve probably noticed a significant drop in new content. In fact, when I glanced at my site stats earlier this week, I myself was surprised that my last new post (prior to yesterday) was 2 months ago. How could that be?!? Well, it turns out I&#8217;ve [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14389,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-mommys-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14386","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14386"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14386\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14392,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14386\/revisions\/14392"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14386"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14386"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14386"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}