I ate burnt toast this morning.\u00a0 Burnt flippin\u2019 toast.\u00a0 I HATE burnt.\u00a0 Usually I just throw it out and start over but I had used the last of my honey butter and I really wanted honey butter so I ate it.\u00a0 Burnt flippin\u2019 toast.<\/p>\n
I realize if you\u2019re not the main caregiver of a small child (and I realize this is not just limited to mommies but can include daddies, grandmas, etc.) you may think I\u2019m being a little ridiculous, but let me explain.<\/p>\n
The toast got burnt because while it was in the toaster oven I had to make Honeybun’s\u00a0lunch.\u00a0 And remind her 5 times that she needed to get dressed for school or she would be late.\u00a0 And break up a screaming match in the bathroom over who was taking too long (Honeybun) and who needed to go \u201cweal, weal bad!\u201d (Sugarplum) even though there were two other perfectly functional toilets in the house which both refused to use.<\/p>\n
Why did I let the toast go so long in the toaster you ask?\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t I set the toaster for the perfect amount of doneness?\u00a0 Well, folks, that\u2019s because my toaster only works if you set it to 10 or more minutes because the flippin\u2019 movers damaged it.\u00a0 And because it was a wedding gift and I don\u2019t want to spend the money on a new one.\u00a0 So I ended up with burnt toast.\u00a0 Burnt flippin\u2019 toast.<\/p>\n
And then I didn\u2019t even get to enjoy the burnt toast (as much as you can enjoy burnt toast) because Doodle was screaming the whole time.\u00a0 And I had to stop to do Honeybun’s\u00a0hair.\u00a0 And I had to stop to find Sugarplum’s shirt because eating cold burnt toast is better than listening to her whine while I eat burnt flippin\u2019 toast.<\/p>\n
So I furiously (in both the fast and angry senses of the word) ate my cold, burnt flippin\u2019 toast before Doodle lost all control of himself and I would no longer be able to concentrate on chewing and before my shirt turned into a wet, milky mess.\u00a0 All of this not because I actually wanted to eat the burnt flippin\u2019 toast but because I had to eat SOMETHING for fear of passing out if I didn\u2019t and taking more time to make (or grab) and eat something else was out of the question.<\/p>\n
So I ate the toast.\u00a0 The burnt flippin\u2019 toast.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I ate burnt toast this morning.\u00a0 Burnt flippin\u2019 toast.\u00a0 I HATE burnt.\u00a0 Usually I just throw it out and start over but I had used the last of my honey butter and I really wanted honey butter so I ate it.\u00a0 Burnt flippin\u2019 toast. I realize if you\u2019re not the main caregiver of a small […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,8,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-mommys-life","category-baby-business","category-family-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1428"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1986,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1428\/revisions\/1986"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beyondmommying.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}