Once a week, for an hour and a half, I get to take ballet class. Ballet has always been an important part of my life but it has taken on even more meaning as my life has become busier and busier with my children.
Ballet class has always been my main “work out”. It has been my opportunity to move my body and (hopefully) get my heart rate up. It gives me the opportunity to stretch and strengthen my body. I always leave feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and physically recharged.
But my weekly ballet class has become so much more than it ever was before because it is all about ME.
When I enter that dance studio, I am simply ME. I am not a mommy, a wife, a teacher, a blogger. And while I’ve been dancing with many of the same women off and on for nearly three years and many of them now know my name, they don’t know much else about me. And honestly, I like it that way.
I get to walk in that studio and just focus on myself. I don’t watch anyone else, worry about anyone else, or even really care about anyone else (except to make sure I’m not going to bump into them, of course!) It is the only time in my life I really get to get lost in my own thoughts, my own body, my own passion.
I can move, spin, jump, glide, fly, without any other worry in the world.
Ballet is just for ME and as selfish as it sounds, I’m not sorry for that. I don’t feel bad that I’m not overly social or that I don’t care about how anyone else in the class is dancing, because I only get 90 minutes a week to focus 100% on myself and I’m going to take full advantage. I smile at my fellow dancers, I say “good morning” when I arrive and “see you next week!” when I leave. I even sometimes make snappy remarks to people about the combinations but really, in that time, I’m only concerned about myself.
Movement has always been my outlet. I’ve choreographed dances to tell my stories and share my feelings. I’ve danced through many struggles and hard times in my life. My teacher growing up always told us that the dance studio should be our “safe place” where we could leave everything else at the door and just focus on the movement.
I never really embraced the idea fully until recently, as life has gotten crazier, I’ve embraced the fact that ballet is just for me and that it is not selfish to hold onto that one part of life that I don’t have to share. To long for those moments that are all mine. And to love the seconds that I get to be the most important thing in my own life.
Picture by Lili Marie Photography
See more pictures of my dancing since becoming a mommy and growing up. Plus read about my journey of dancing through pregnancy.
I Love your blog post each week! I agree with you. There needs to me “me time” even if just once a week. Keep it up and you will always have that great outlet and maybe the kids will love to share also!
Both of my girls are already in dance classes but my son is the dancer, he has to move every time he hears music which I think stems from the fact I took class while I was pregnant with him and he went with me when I taught until he was 3 months old.
I just came across this from a link on one of your other pages. I did a lot of ballet dancing as a child, but I wasn’t comfortable with people looking at me. After all, you’re wearing a leotard and tights. You’re millimeters away from being naked for goodness sake. Ballet is such an unforgiving activity- you can’t hide any mistakes because of the leotard. I admire you for continuing to dance, even while pregnant, and for having a mindset of not comparing yourself to anyone else in the room. You are an inspiration to me to get back into the dance studio. : )
Thanks! I hope you do venture back into the studio, dancing has a way of freeing the soul, perhaps there’s a great adult class you can join in your area. I really treasure my classes and group of adult classmates who are there for the same reason as me: themselves, no judgement!